The Age Curse

Everyone is the age of their heart. ~Guatemalan Proverb

Saturday night I went as a chaperone to a youth stake dance. It has been at least 14 years since I attended a stake dance as a youth, and I was surprised to find that they still play the same music that was played at my dances, although I was irritated that they changed the line dance to that country song “Down by the River.” I spent the evening in the back corner with the other chaperones, where we chatted and laughed (mostly at the obnoxious squealing girls), and watched like hawks to make sure nobody broke any rules. Let’s just say it was very entertaining.

Before I showed up at the stake center, I was worried that people would mistake me as one of the youth, since I get told frequently that I look like I’m 18 years old. Just the other day I was at the gas station buying some goodies when a customer came in right as the cashier was asking me for my ID, since I was paying with a card. The customer assumed I was being ID'd for buying alcohol, and he said, “you’re not old enough to drink.” I gave him a very dirty look and said, “I’ve been old enough to drink for 10 years now, mister.” (Ok, I didn’t say mister but he got my point.)

I just don’t get it. My body certainly does not feel 18. And when I look in the mirror, I can plainly see the wrinkles under my eyes. Maybe I could pass for a few years younger than I actually am……. but 18? Seriously?! Anyway, so just as I had feared, while at the dance I had THREE (yes 3) other chaperones ask me which high school I went to! After I told one lady I was a YW leader, she said, “wow, you must be one of those young leaders who just barely got married.” I just smiled and didn’t respond.

For many years now I have been trying everything I can think of to make myself look closer to my real age. I’ve tried different hair styles, I have a special “grown-up” wardrobe for when I need to look more sophisticated, and I wear the tallest shoes I can manage to walk in. But nothing seems to make a difference. In fact, the only thing my vanity has gotten me is some bodily injuries. Here is an example: I have these flip flops that are at least 3 inches high, and I always trip on them, causing the sandals to break, not to mention also twisting my ankles. I go through about 3 pairs every summer. A few weeks ago I actually tripped and skinned a knee pretty badly. (I took this picture a few days after the incident so it had already started to heal - it looked much worse right after it happened.)

I know it is every woman’s wish to look youthful. But really, who wants to look 1/2 their age! And you better be careful about making any wise cracks about my age (or lack thereof) – just remember that I can kick like an 18 year old! (Just ask Brian.)